Welcome back. If you missed yesterday’s post(scroll down, it’s down there…down, yeah, down that way) I’m going over my top MST3k episodes of 2010. These episodes each have some kind of intrinsic value to me based on where I was when I saw them, who I saw them with, or what was going on at the time. Both tangible, and that with which words cannot describe. So let’s get to it!
Season 9, Episode 4
I don’t know precisely where my fascination with Joe Estevez started, but this movie sure had a great deal to do with it. You see, Joe Estevez is Martin Sheen’s brother, and by extension of that the uncle of Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen. It fascinates me that poor Joe’s entire family is successful at something, and he’s acting in horrible b-movies that aren’t memorable until they’re made fun of on MST3k…But that’s just the point. He IS successful, at least to me and the legions(tens) of people who enjoy his work. While some actors famously got pissed when they were featured on Mystery Science Theatre(Joe Don Baker comes to mind), Joe Estevez took it in stride and realized it was tongue in cheek…And had a damn good laugh about it.
The movie features unintelligible foreign people meandering around Flagstaff, Arizona, while a few guys in bad bear costumes and crepe hair do their best to pretend they’re Werewolves…and fail. But it has Joe Estevez.
“Chia Estevez.” - Tom Servo
“Elgin’s my BLACK friend.” - Mike
“Flagstaff: Industry! Family! Foreign people talking in attics!” - Mike
“Ya know, it’s economical not to have a storyline because then you can just film people saying things.” - Crow
And the entire credits song.
Season 9, Episode 12
The Screaming Skull
The Screaming Skull wants you to think it’s one of those bland black and white 50’s movies…and it is. But it’s so much more than that. The episode starts out with a warning that they’ll provide a free coffin to anyone who dies during the movie…and proceeds to have zero scary moments. If there’s anything I remember from The Screaming Skull, it’s that the woman always looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and that half the movie was the camera slowly moving around bland sets. Every once in a while a skull would make an appearance, but it didn’t make much sense past that. Red herrings, the most blatantly evil “not the evil guy” person I’d seen in a movie…and a Gumby short. This episode really runs the gamut of awesome.
“Habitat AGAINST humanity” - Crow
“Children love to hang drapes.” - Crow
“I went someplace and I’m sad.” - Tom Servo
“GET A BOX.” - Crow
Season 10, Episode 7
Track of the Moon Beast
Track of the Moon Beast starts out innocently enough. The film’s grainy, and before you have the chance to question if it’s going to suck or not…
Definitely one of my favorite characters from the entirety of the series, Johnny Longbone was amazing. He’d bounce around smiling, going on at length about Indian legends that blatantly serve as subtext to the plot, and was just in general that “American Indian” guy in the movie. The way he’d deliver lines…I can’t even put it into words. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch this movie for the sake of Johnny Longbone.
Lieutenant Half-a-beef isn’t that bad either. I will not soon forget “California Lady”, which still haunts me sometimes on road trips when it gets stuck in my head. The blank, lifeless female lead absolutely destroyed any idea that I knew what “bad acting” was and replaced it with her performance. Bravo. Bravo.
“JC Penny hooker wear: for the casual hooker at work, rest, or play.” - Crow
“Look, behind Longbone, there’s Waldo!” - Mike
“Surprise, it was me running the slides!” - Mike
“Ah, we’ve stumbled into an Eagles concert, it’s a nightmare!” - Crow
“He’s a cop, he’s a Rabbi. They’re cops. Except for the Rabbi.” - Crow
“So, I killed a tent full of old guys…” - Crow
Any variation of the “Corn, green pepper, chicken…onions” joke.
Man, what a journey it’s been this year. I can only imagine what episodes I’ll watch in 2011 and see in a different light, who I’ll be seeing them with, what the circumstances of my life will be…Either way, it was a pretty bad ass journey and whenever I see these episodes, I’ll definitely think of some pretty sweet moments from 2010.
“Push the button, Frank.” on 2010. Happy 2011 to all, on your various Satellites of Love.